the skyrim soundtrack is the most beautiful thing ever. this is why i want to study music. 

i want to study music full time. don’t particularly want to be a music teacher or anything.  i’m nowhere near good enough to be a performer.  i just love it though i can’t get enough.  i’m almost considering dropping out of my current course and doing music instead.  i’ll sort the career thing out later.  

is this a bad idea?

and came across this today:

 ¹⁶ This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?¹⁸ Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:16-18

So, if to love is to lay down one’s life, I’m thinking about what that actually means … I think it’s more than literally dying for another person, but every single day to lay down my life by putting others before myself.   So when I’m saying to someone, ‘I love you’, it means that in my life I consider their needs more important than my own, and that in the same way Christ loves me despite my sin, I love them unconditionally and would basically do anything for them.  Wow.  That’s pretty massive.

I dont like it when people are like ‘hey dont worry about it - just think about 5 years from now where you won’t care about this at all’… 

Maybe it’s true. Maybe i wont care about the things that are worrying me now.  But the thing is, I’m not living 5 years into the future, I’m living now.  Right now, there are things that are worrying me and I doubt they will have a massive lasting impact on me 5 years from now, but that doesnt mean its not important at the moment and that they arent worth my time/effort… 

Anyway. Useless rant. I’m going to go have a nap bye

Eros
a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love

Ludus
a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest; may have multiple partners at once

Storge
an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity

Pragma 
love that is driven by the head, not the heart

Mania
obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; very possessive and often jealous lovers

Agape
selfless altruistic love; spiritual;

(Source: Wikipedia, via dividing-soul)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about ‘beauty’.  What is so great about being beautiful?  And perhaps more importantly, what is so bad about being ‘ugly’?  Is it any worse than being bitter or arrogant or selfish or hypocritical or cruel…?   

As 21st century women we spend so much time and money and worry on our appearance… but why?  Physical beauty is incredibly subjective, not to mention fleeting, and yet we all chase after the ideals that seem shoved in our faces by the media.. it doesn’t make any sense.   

It’s cliche, but I would much rather be a woman known for a beautiful heart than a beautiful face - a heart full of compassion and wisdom… someone who is gentle and thoughtful and selfless and self-controlled… when those kind of women speak, people listen to them. They do so much more than turn heads - they change lives.  

What I don’t understand though is that while I believe this, I still find it hard to believe, and if I’m honest with myself, I don’t know that I truly believe it.  I find myself putting on makeup most days and straightening my hair and putting way too much thought into what I’m wearing… idk I can’t figure it out.  Even though I do genuinely want a beautiful heart, I can’t help but chase after that ideal physical beauty as well.  

1. I am incredibly blessed to be a uni student at all, considering there are so many in the world who go without an education
2. Even as only a part time worker, my income is significantly higher than the world average income and I have plenty. I never go without food, I have plenty of clothes, I have a comfortable place to sleep every night, I am typing this right now on my own computer. 

Watch this.  

“How does it make you feel to know that you make 100 times what the average person on this planet makes?” - Francis Chan

for-the-glory:

thebecoming answered: Can we have morals? Yes. However, moral laws without a moral law-giver are relative. Moral absolutes are only possible because God is good.

I couldn’t have worded it better.

(via the-light-inside-deactivated201)

• to be patient, and trust in His timing
• to be courageous in sharing the gospel with people who don’t know Jesus
• to keep things in perspective
• to get over myself, and live to glorify Him 

side note, have you ever noticed that ‘encourage’ has the word ‘courage’ in it? 

have a nice day <3

(ps sorry I haven’t been blogging much.)

There’s a photo all over my dash and it has text on it saying something like, ‘to find yourself you must first lose yourself’.

I’m confused. What does that even mean? Is that figurative? What will I achieve by getting lost? How is being lost going to help me have an epiphany of ‘oh I remember who I am now’

For me i find my identity in christ alone, because my personality, tastes and interests change from month to month but he remains constant in my life, and no amount of wandering around getting lost literally and/or figuratively will help ne grow stronger in that… But thats beside the point.

There are so many tumblr posts like this. Maybe next time you reblog some cool indie photo with text that belongs in the writings of Henry Thoreau, stop and think ‘does this actually make sense? Do I agree with this?’

Or just mindlessly reblog it because it’s a pretty picture with poetic text.

Ugh why do I even bother.

today i had one of the most interesting conversations of my life.  i was with two christian friends, one of them is heaps sciencey and the other is really into philosophy and i guess i’m a bit of an english/film person and we had the most fascinating intellectual conversation about all kinds of stuff like time and sound and different dimensions and spiritual realms and altered states of consciousness and colour and existentialism and nihilism and ecclesiastes and truth and prayer and other things … my mind is blown.  

we seriously talked for hours and it was so so so interesting.   i get so sick of small talk so this was the most amazing conversation.  

i’ve basically come to the conclusion that life and philosophy and this world and creation are so much more complex than our minds can handle, but trusting God is simple … its so important to use your mind and not waste it to realise just how awesome God is, but it also helped me realise the importance of truth and faith, and making sure you don’t get confused and to be at peace with the fact that you will never know everything and to just trust God no matter what. 

i wish i wasn’t so good at wasting time.  

i’ve never noticed this before but there are a LOT of funeral plan and life insurance ads on daytime tv.  its kinda depressing actually

I found myself in a situation I was very uncomfortable with last night and really felt the need to write about it, so here we are.

Call me naive all you like, but until last night I had no idea what burlesque dancing was. I had in my mind something involving feathers kinda like the moulin rouge or something along those lines.

We walked in to the ‘gallery burlesque’ and there’s a naked man on stage dancing around very seductively and to say I got a shock is a bit of an understatement. One by one men and women came up onto the stage and danced around taking their clothes off and all these people were standing around watching… It was just bizarre.

When I said something to my friends one of them said ‘you need to see it as an artform’, another said ‘I really respect and admire their courage’ and someone said ‘you don’t get out much do you?’

Ok fair enough i dont get out much. But no matter how many times you call it ‘performance art’ there are still naked women up there showing off their bodies to a whole bunch of cheering strangers. You can call it whatever you want but surely something isn’t right.

Everyone else seemed perfectly ok with it but i was trying to figure out how it was any different to being in a strip club?? If this were happening in the middle of a shopping centre in the middle of the day would it be received so unquestionably? Is this art? Is this courage? Is this what it means to be a woman in our culture? That we would have no self-respect and sense of decency or proprietary and happily stand up in front of strangers, take off our clothes and dance around to try and get attention?

We have such a strong ‘this is my body I’ll do what I like with it’ mentality in our culture but am I the only one that thinks it has gone too far?  I guess prostitution has always been around in some form or another but for this to be an acceptable form of entertainment… Surely something is wrong here!!

The more I see of the world the more I am becoming aware of the corruption and immorality and sin, and no one seems to be questioning it. I am so frustrated. Especially the ideologies that our culture perpetuates about women. There is so little respect and dignity. I wish men could see us not as objects but as sisters, and that unmarried women would be seen as someone else’s wife, not something to be used then thrown away. Ugh I could go on forever. I hate this world. Can’t wait to get to heaven.